자꾸만 꼬이시나요
꼴 보기 싫은 인간이 있으신가요, 백화점이나 극장에서 마주치기 싫은 인간이 있나요.
같이 일하거나 데이트할 기분이 안드는 인간이 있나요. 회식 시에 옆 자리에 앉기 싫은
인물이 있나요. 그렇다면 그대는 매끄럽지 못한, 흐트러진, 미결의, 산뜻하지 못한 어물쩡한.
미완의,불완전한 상태에 머물러 있으면서 가장된 헛웃음, 위장된 자신감, 뭔가를 포장하여
숨긴 채본연의 "나"가 아닌 다른 "나"로 나의 삶을 사는 형국 입니다. 그래도 관계는 없읍니다.
괜찮습니다. 남의 삶을 내가 살기에 책임회피로, 합리화로, 정당화로, 타인전가로 오히려
뱃속이편할수도 있으니까요. 그러나 여기 큰 함정이 있으니, 그냥 방치해둔 채 그때그때를
임기응변으로 생을 살게 되면 삶은 늘꼬여나가게 됩니다
잠못이루는밤이 있나요, 아무리 일을해도 집중이 안되는 산만함, 피땀눈물 코피를 솓으면서 일해도
성공은 전혀 기미도 안보이고,틀림없이 할 수 있다는 자신감도 될 수 있다는 확신도 도무지 없고
생겨나지도 않고, 남들보다 더 많은 시간을 달렸으나 해논 일이나 달려온 길은 오히려 작고 보잘 것
없는 일의 악순환이 바로 그 것입니다.
예를들면 돈을 빌리고도 결코 갚지를 않게 되고, 그 녀에게 달려가면서도 혹 나쁜 타임에
가는것이 아닐까라고, 데이트 하기에 너무 늦어버린 게 아닐까라고 항상 걱정하지요. 그보단
차주에게 전화하여 내 형편이 어려우니 조금씩 갚아나가겠다고 합의하는 그런 용기를 가져야
한다. 일언 작은 보살핌 조그마한 노력으로 오히려 고개를 똑바로 쳐들고 자신있게 살아가도록
자신을 구해낼 수는 큰 계기를 만들어 내게 된다. 여기어정쩡하고 두리뭉실하고산뜻하지 못한
그런 관계 결말들을 산뜨하게 만들어 승리를 보장하는 하는 몇가지 방법이 있다
Tie Up Loose Ends or Find Yourself in Knots
The final step toward putting your past behind so you can reach for what's possible is tying up your loose ends. Loose ends are the unresolved relationships that keep you from sleeping worry free at night.
Skeletons are hard to keep buried because they always have a bone to pick.
You have a loose end, if there's someone you don't want to see at the grocery store or movie theater. You have a
loose end, if there's someone you don't want to run into on a first date or at work. You have a loose end, if there's someone you don't want to sit next to at a holiday dinner. Loose ends are distracting and have an amazing way of biting you in the butt at the worst times. When loose ends are lurking in the back of your mind, they take your focus off doing what it takes to succeed. Loose ends bring you back to a place where you don't want or need to go. Loose ends must be tied up so they cannot run free to steal your confidence and concentration. Tying up loose ends allows you to totally focus on doing what you need to do to get where you want to go..
For example, if you borrowed money from someone and never paid her back, you have to always worry about running into her at the wrong time, like when you're already late for a date or out shopping with your mom. Instead of facing these embarrassing scenarios, have the courage to call your lender up and agree to repay her a little bit every week until you are square. You'll be amazed how a little effort on your part can salvage broken relationships and let you walk once again with your head held high.How to Tie Up Your Loose Ends
1. Identify the five people with whom you have the most unresolved issues. These could be past relationships, employers, business partners, friends, family, or co-workers. These are people you avoid talking with andrunning into.
2. Contact each of these five loose ends. Invite each separately to a coffee shop or some other nonthreatening, nonalcohol environment. Tell each one that you want to apologize for allowing things to get crossways between you. Even if she was the one who hurt you, tell her you want to move on. Some may doubt your intentions, but tell them that you sincerely feel its time to clear the air. Ask those who agree to meet to write down any ways they think you wronged them, and you do the same. Tell them to bring this list to your get-together.
3. Show up on time and thank each for being forgiving enough to meet with you. Tell each person that you want to apologize for whatever you did that hurt him (even if you don't completely agree with his view of the situation). Be an adult here; finger pointing only tears people apart. Remember, your experience may be -- and most likely is -- totally different from his. Listen to each issue each of them raise and try to see it from their perspectives. Don't interrupt them when they are sharing. Seek to understand why they harbor bad feelings toward you. Apologize for each thing they think you did to wrong them. If you're nervous about apologizing, go ahead and practice in a mirror before each meeting.
4. At the end of the conversation, thank each once again for talking with you. It was a big show of faith in your character. Plus, she's helping you to move toward your dreams by tying up loose ends in your past. The next day, send her a handwritten card thanking her for reconnecting. You can then decide whether or not to stay in touch.
After you tie up your first loose end, you'll want to resolve them all. This is hard to explain until you have done it; but once you do, you'll know what I mean. I learned so much about myself by tying up my loose ends. Most of all, I think this process helped me become a more understanding andpatient friend.